me when organize debate tournament
why i've orgcommed more than i've debated
When you ask the average person what their weekend plans are, you will get a variety of responses.
They might tell you they’re going out to dinner.
Maybe they’re watching a movie.
Maybe they’re streaming a game.
But for me, I am weird.
From February to April, I have been/will be on the organizing team for **six** tournaments (perhaps seven, if I get lucky).
Each one of these is dozens upon dozens of hours of planning, not to mention a full weekend spent during the actual event. And the question people ask me constantly is, “are you fucking insane?”
And to an extent, the answer is yes. I think that if you define insane as being interestedinaverynicheandspecificsetofthingsthatbasicallynooneelseisinterestedin, then yeah, I do fit that.
So, "why do you do this?”
And the real answer is, I do not know. But in the whirlwind of emotions that have followed since HHHS yesterday, I have had some time to reflect (when I probably should have been doing my OB project. Group, if you see this, I am sorry). And I think I have some ideas.
First, what is it *not* because of.
As nice of a story as it would make, it is not because I feel some sort of pRiNcIpLeD ObLiGaTiOn to the debate community. Because truth be told, I feel no such thing.
Along the same lines, it is not to somehow “keep the circut going” or because I feel that I am doing something to help people. It would be nice if I was that altruistic, but alas, like the typical business student, I am not.
Third, it is not for pay. I have never been paid or requested pay for any OrgComm commitments thus far.
So then, why is it?
The first, and most common thought I get is that I am a masochist.
When there is a hoard of 25 emails lined up in the tournament inbox (as there are right now, which I should really start replying to), that makes me happy.
When shit hits the fan, the entire event is delving into pure chaos, and I need to run around like a rat with its head cut off yelling at people, that makes me happy.
When there is a crushing load of things to worry about and a to-do list longer than the required reading for a university humanities course, that makes me happy.
When there is logistical nightmare after logistical nightmare that needs to be sorted out and dealt with, that makes me happy (did I mention, I love logistics).
To be honest, I do not know exactly why these things bring me joy. I think a big part of it is in the adrenaline rush and the sense of excitement. When things start picking up, my emotions tend to aggravate as well. Not in an ‘I am angry way,’ moreso in a ‘this is so cool’ way. It is akin to going on a long, slow, roller coaster for weeks at a time, where each crisis that is faced and each thing that needs to be dealt with is not treated as additional workload, but rather a new source of fun.
An additional aspect probably has to do with the sense of uncertainty. There is a real thrill in not knowing what is going to happen next, in never being able to figure out what is going to hit you. And the even bigger thrill is in knowing that it will be your job to deal with it.
It is like that meme, where the dog-thing is sitting in a burning house going “Everything is fine.” Except whereas that is satirical, in this case, everything IS actually alright.
To be clear, the organizing experience is not all sunshine and rainbows. I think that there are quite a few systemic issues with a) the way OrgComms are set up/roles are split and b) norms about tournament running that everyone must follow for no apparent reason other than it is the way they have always been done. But trying to navigate this frustration and these challenges only adds to the experience.
So maybe, the reason I do this is because I am a masochist. (If you are going to say that this is not actually masochism, stfu. I know. Alas, I can not think of any better word).
But I do not think that that is the full answer. After all, if I really wanted to be stressed, I could just switch into a STEM program. It is not a sufficent explanation. So, I keep thinking.
And soon, I realize that another big part of the equation has to do with the people.
I would not say I am an optimist or a pessimist. Deep down, I read a lot into people and often become quite weary, but I try not to let these thoughts affect the way I act around them.
In a tournament context though, I genuinely believe that this is the setting in which people are at their best. And it makes me so happy to see.
Of course, there are always the exceptions. The debaters who will, despite 50 warnings, still decide to pull out Google (tangent: it BAFFLES me how bad at cheating most people are. Like if you are going to use the internet, at least do a better job of hiding it). The judges who will be assholes and go on powertrips to poor little kids. Etc.
But these are outliers.
I have orgcommed more tournaments than I have competed in (yes, seriously). Time and time again, I have seen people come together here like nowhere else.
This weekend, at HHHS, we had a number of issues (which, if you were there, you probably know about). But the entire team - tabs, CAs, equity, and runners - worked as one well oiled machine to push through it and keep things going smoothly. People pushed aside their grievances, their gripes, their tiredness, their lack-of-being-paid. The amount of commitment, dedication, passion, and expertise from everyone was insane, with a sole focus on keeping the tournament on track. And as sappy and cliche as this sounds, being able to be (somewhat) a part of the process is really damn inspiring.
There was also one other story from HHHS that I wanted to share. I was standing on an inside balcony overlooking the lobby, one floor down, at a box of merchandise that was left unattended. As I was on my phone, replying to messages, I caught out of the corner of my eye a coach or parent (not sure who they were) take a hoodie, then out of their own volition, put the cash payment onto a plate next to the boxes and write their name on a piece of paper. That was really heartwarming. It made me happy.
But tournaments are not just about the orgcomm or parents or coaches. They are also about the debaters. And that is the other part of the answer.
I know that I am too much of a people pleaser, and that there are a lot of other considerations in running an event like this. Yet at the same time, I do view a big part of this role as a customer service one. My job maybe is not to make the debaters love me. But it sure as hell is to make sure they have a good time.
This is why I love the award ceremonies so much. Seeing the look on their faces, seeing the partners jump up in joy and shake each other when their names are called, that makes it worth it. Watching so many people achieve what, for most of them, is a dream, is an incredible feeling.
And having these tangible results to your hard work, being able to see and know that you played a small part in these emotions, it put me on the verge of tears.
And of course, I am not going to pretend that praiseful messages like this do not make me pretty damn happy either.
So then, another part of the equation is that I like both pleasing people and seeing people pleased. That brings me joy.
But still, that is not everything. There are so many other ways I could put my own mental sanity on the line to make others happy. That still does not explain why I love tournaments specifically.
The third, and by far the biggest reason why I love doing this then, is that is gives me a sense of purpose.
The day-in-the-life of a university student, which I am sure that may can attest to, is boring and monotonous. There may be a lot of social events, a lot of drinking, and a lot of studying, but nothing really happens. Grades fail to motivate , and the prospect of a co-op placement is far and distant.
The end result then, is that it feels like I do not know why I even bother doing stuff. It is all a void, a meaningful less rat race. Something something hedonistic treadmill.
But running tournaments, it changes that.
Clearly defined goals and outcomes? Check.
Visible and tangible results? Check.
Power and agency to get things done? Check (mostly).
They give me a sense of purpose, a reason to get my ass out of bed every morning and go do something that matters. To deliver an experience better than the ones that I got when I was a debater (I know this sounds cocky as fuck; I am not saying that it actually is better - just that this is the goal). To put a smile on people’s face.
I am reminded of a quote from my favorite TV sitcom, Abbott Elementary. “When something was off, [they] always tried to fix it.” And for me, this is what running tournaments is all about.
On HHHS day one, the lunch line turned into a disorganized mob that had neither order nor efficency. Things were off. So for the second day, I worked with the team to hold people in the hallways, only letting a few into the serving lobby at a time. And sure enough, we cut down the food serving turnaround to half of what it was the day before. 430 people in 14 minutes - not bad, imo.
Being able to see things that could be done better, then actually having the ability to find and implement new solutions that yield tangible results, that is what these tournaments provide me with. There is a unique sense of structure within the organization and tournament running that create the “goldilocks zone” of freedom - where I can do what I want while also not being totally lost in the trenches. The sense of ownership and responsibility that is derived as a result, for me, is so important.
Closely related to the idea of purpose and equally as important, is that these tournaments give me something to **look forward** to.
In the weeks leading up to HHHS, I would often count down how many days were left until it was time. As it went from early January, to late January, to mid February, I could feel the excitement grow. It is hard for me to pinpoint exactly why I was so giddy. But yeah, it was insane.
Then, as tournament day was right around the corner, part of the excitement subsided.
Let me explain. And I am going to invent some new words here to assist.
“Positive excitement” is everything I have talked about thus far. All the joy, the purpose, the meaning.
And what I will call “negative excitement” is the dread that, after these two days are up, I will be back in a life of boringness and nothingness. That the joy I feel will come to an end. I tend to feel a lot of this in my life - social gatherings, schools, vacations, etc.
I know that a lot of people feel negative exctiement as the wonderful thing is coming to an end. But uniqley to me, I feel it before the trigger has even started. It is akin to dreading work post-weekend on Monday, when right now it is only Thursday.
If we plotted time against positive and negative excitement, it would look something like this. Orange is positive, grey is negative.
Now this is not very good, is it! Any increase in positive excitement is cancelled out by the dread of negative excitement.
So, what do I do to fix this?
I sign up to orgcomm even more tournaments.
If I can have the next orgcomm opportunity lined up before the negative excitement from the current one starts to pick up, then I can eliminate most of the dread in feeling that after this tournament is over, there will be nothing else to do. Because now, there will be something to do!
At this point, you might think that I am crazy. One of my friends who I told this to said it was akin to an addiction.
And maybe they are right.
Perhaps then, the reason I organize debate tournaments is not only because I love doing them, but I am addicted to doing them.
Much like my love of TikTok, I can not stop. Because as long as I keep going, as long as I keep doing more and more, the excitement and joy and purpose and meaning and passion and happiness keep going. And I love that. The feeling that I always have something else to look forward to, something to think about, something to get excited about.
So yeah. I probably am a bit of a masochist for that. And I probably do enjoy the tournament organizing experience. But at the end of the day, the real reason I do this is because it lights a fire within me and gives me something meaningful to spend my moments thinking about. And you can call it whatever you want. A job. A passion. A masochistic tendency. An addiction.
But no matter what label you or I pick, what does not change is that I fucking love this job.
Please keep giving it to me.
This post is not meant to be a HHHS debrief, nor is anything here restricted to/specifically about HHHS. That being said though, it would be a grave injustice to make it through this entire post without reemphasizing that organizing is a team effort. I wrote this piece from an individual POV, but all of the individual benefits I discuss are only possible because in every tournament I have been on the OrgComm for, I have been guided, led and supported by an amazing team of people. These are some of the smartest, most caring, most passionate, and most competent folks I have ever met, and they are the sole reason why anything even remotely related to what I wrote about is true.
hey i went to that tournament!!!!
Glad you're happy Andre.